AmiiStarr

If/when I'm on here, I'll usually just fav some shit and read fanfiction. I don't even know. If we're friends and you (if anyone even remembers me at this point) then you can PM me for my Tumblr or Line or someshit. I'm mostly on Tumblr and Line. Life is complicated and I have a ridiculous lack in amount of freetime.

I realized recently that I pronounce things oddly... I had a friend point out the way I pronounced something and ever since, I'd listen to myself talk and realized that there were some words I actually had to TRY to say to make them sound right. I hadn't even noticed before that I slurred letters and pronounced things awkwardly. I also realized I'd slur syllables together without even thinking about it.

The word I was corrected on was Strawberry... which I pronounced strAH-bree.

School has been keeping me on my toes though, recently. So don't expect much from me until winter break because- even though I'm constantly drawing- I have barely any time on my hands to go online. I just happened to be out sick today.

Me, according to my dad:

I walk through life in a dream world. I expect everything to be given to me without me giving anything back. I have no goals or ambitions and will go nowhere. I have no will or reason. I don't try. I will never achieve anything. I don't work. I think happiness is something I will receive.  I've tossed anything I was ever good at away because I don't want to work to improve. I go from one thing to another, looking for the easy way through life. I want to cruise through life and not do anything. Life is a bitch and then you die. I'm not living if I'm not suffering.  

Me, according to me:
Right now, I feel nothing. I must be dead.

Okay... I just got back from vacation and I'm exhausted... I'm not used to getting up earlier then noon each day but my parents just LOVE waking me up early to do family things. To be honest, I had A LOT of fun. There was minimal arguments with both my parents and younger sister. It was an all together great experience.

While there, I slept in a room the size of a closet. But hey guess what... The closet-room had it's own even tinier closet! So I dubbed the room closet-room. And inside closet-room, there was a futon (or as my sister calls it, a typhoon.). So I slept on the futon and now I'm pretty sure my neck and back are out of alignment. But w/e.

Currently, I have a book report due (over due bc I had no internet while on vacation), one story to edit and continue writing, one story to start, two fanfictions in progress, one story to either continue or trash, a scrapbook due in a month, multiple drawings to scan and upload, other drawings that I should've done forever-and-a-half ago, and other stuff that I'll either procrastinate on or completely forget about until its due or sometime after.

I love my iPhone. I'm serious. It was a good investment of my money . I'm loving the games and apps available to me. Getting on Facebook and Twitter has become that much easier. I'm more on Twitter then Facebook as-of-recently, but w/e. (AmiiStarr on Twitter.. In case you care.)

I need some RP partners. It gets seriously boring not having anyone to RP with and wanting to do so so badly.

My mom thought it would be funny to get me and my sister Webkinz, albeit us being 16 and 13. I have a peacock Webkinz now. oAo But I'm having trouble thinking of a name... Any suggestions?

hnnnnggg my eyeliner order came in!! -flails happily-

>w< I'm sooo lucky b/c I had run out this morning and was planning on having a breakdown tomorrow when I woke up~ I was lucky this morning too because I was able to make use of the last little bit of eyeliner I had left.

Now if you're reading this and don't wear eyeliner, you're probably like "dude, you could've just bought some more today after school." But I'm me and I like a certain brand of eyeliner. It just comes out smoother and stays on longer and doesn't smear easily. Most eyeliner-wearing people tend to stick to one brand and type because they like it best. I'm one of those people.

And if you've seen my dA ID, then you know I wear a lot of eyeliner.


Now on a LESS positive (rather negative, really) note, I'm sick. I feel like I'm going to drop dead. I can't speak, I'm coughing and sneezing like crazy. My nose is stuffy and my throat is all swollen. So now, if you're one of those people who care about my well-being, you're probably like "Amii, why the hell did you go to school today? You better take off tomorrow!" But I CAN'T do that. First of all, this week is a three-day week. I have a long weekend. Tomorrow is the last day and I have a bazillion tests/quizzes tomorrow.

I have:
-Latin (open book, thank Skittles)
-Pre-Calculus (I'ma fail...boo, Amii)
-Chemistry Lab (I hate doing make-up labs...)
-History test (I might actually pass this one)
-Literature (we're working on the play we're gunna do for the Arts' Festival and I was nominated to be in it, despite my stage fright... And we're starting a new book so I can't miss that because then I'll have to read it on my own...)

AAAAND tomorrow is a dress-down day(I go to a Catholic school, we wear uniforms >A<) and all money ($2 per person (or more if donated) times nearly 500 students) will go to the Japan Society in NYC and they'll be donating it to Japan for the tsunami relief... thing.

On a more depressing note... I'm totally ruining my life. Depression has taken over. I feel like an empty shell of a person but don't want to bother anyone with my problems. I'm feigning happiness and people are starting to see through my phony positivity. Lately it seems like my one friend in school is the only thing keeping me from completely falling into a depression. My grades are seriously slipping I'm confused about what I wanna do in life.

On top of that, I'm quite certain I have Binge Eating Disorder. It's like Bulimia, just without the throwing up afterward. You can't stop yourself from eating. Eating takes the place of any emotions. Depression= eating, sadness = eating, boredom = eating. Even if I'm NOT hungry, I eat. Sometimes without even realizing it. It's like those signals of "ugh, I'm so full" and "please stop, that's enough" have been completely overwritten. It's like I don't feel full anymore... ever. I use drawing and Anime/Manga to keep myself occupied, but the second I step into the kitchen, I go look in the refrigerator and cabinets on impulse. It's like I'm not in control of my life anymore.

Due to my lack of self-confidence, I was super duper nervous about posting the things about the Binge Eating Disorder. I was worried people were going to be mean and start calling me fat (even if I do have a weight problem, it's still mean)... Then I remembered that no one reads my journals anyway, so its fine.

If You did read, well thanks for spending your time on me. Believe it or not, it means a lot that you cared enough to read.